Uss din kuch zyada kaam nahi tha. Kaafi free sa din tha. Aur kaafi dull sa bhi. Baadalon ne aasman aise gher ke rakha tha, jaise ki koi emergency ka cerfew. Maano aasmaan mein nahi bas mere area mein hi curfew lag gaya ho. Bas baahar jaane ka man hi naa kare.
Baithe baithe maine ek almari poori saaf karli. Saaf safai ka mood itna zabardast ban gaya tha ki bas poocho hi mat. Saara kuch jama diya tha ek din mein. Par ab bhi dil bechain. Aisa lag raha tha, bahut kachra bhara hai. Kahi saaf-safaai ki aur bhi zaroorat hain. Phir khayaal aaya ki mann ki almaari kitne hi dino se nahi kholi thi. Chalo aaj iski bhi saaf-safai ho hi jaaye.
Mann ki almaari kaafi badi si thi. Itne saalon ki, memories, experiemces vagaere sab iss ek almaari mein jo bhare pade they. Maine saaf safaai shuru ki. Ek shelf mein kaafi saari taaza experiences ki potli padi thi. Jab woh kholi, dekha kuch experiences khatte ho gaye they. Shaayad isliye jab bhi akeli baithti mujhe hardam khatta sa swaad mooh mein aata. Unki wajah se baaki jo meethe experiences pade they, woh bhi khatte hone shuru ho gaye they. Maana jab aap bazaar mein phal khareedne jaate hain, kuch phal kabhi kharaab bhi nikalte hain. Toh hum kya karte hai? Jald se jald unhein dustbin mein phenk dete hain. Unse doosrein phalon ka bigadne ka khatra rehta hain. Pata nahi kyon, man ki iss almaari mein maine yeh khatte experiences ab tak jamaa karke rakhe hain. Inhein toh pehle hi din phenk dena chahiye tha. Shaayad yeh isliye padey they kyonki maine man ki almaari kai dino se saaf nahi ki thi. Haan isi wajah se yeh hua hoga. Toh about kya, maine unn saare experiences aur unse joodi saari memories ko ikkatha kiya aur ek bade se dustbin mein jaakar phenk diya. Achaanak se man thoda halka mehsoos hone laga. Shaayad ab meri zindagi mein kuch naye expereinces ke liye jaga bani hai.
Aise karte karte maine saari almaari chaan mari. Kitni jagah aise hi kai experiences maine jamaa kar rakhe they pata nahi kyon. Kai experiences aur unki memories inti purani thi ki unpe dhool jami hui thi. Jab unpe se main dhool hataati tab pata chalta ki arey yeh to woh wala experience hai jo mujhe ab shaayad yaad bhi nahi hain.
Phir waqt aaya, man ki almaari ki tijori kholne ka. Bahut darr lag raha tha. Pata nahi kya kya bharaa hoga yahan. Pata nahi kya kya maine barson se sambhaal ke rakhaa hain yahaan. Aur jab yeh sab baahar niklega, kya main issey sambhaal paaongi? Khair aaj saaf safaai ka din hain, toh tijori bhi saaf toh karni hi padegi. Toh kya tha, bas maine ishwar ka naam liye aur dhire se darte hue tijori khol di. Kaafi dhool jami thi tijori mein. Ab mujhe yaad bhi nahi tha kya rakha tha issmein sambhaalkar. Itni dhool thi ki maine ek geela kapda liya aur har ek cheez jo rakhi thi ussey ghis ghis kar saaf karna chalu kiya. Jaise hi pehli cheez par se dhool ki chaddar hati, maine dekha woh ek choti si nanhi si gudiya thi. Jo bilkul meri tarah hi dikti thi. Arey haan, phir yaad aaya ki yeh gudiya maine apne haathon se banaai thi. Issey maine bahut hi sundar aur hamesha hasti rahe waise banaaya thi. Aur haan yeh gudiya ki khaasiyat yeh thi ki yeh hamesha gungunaati rehti thi. Aise kar karke kaafi saare khilone nikle meri tijori se. Ek hawaaijahaaz, jo mujhe door sair karne ki yaad dilaata tha. Mere ghoongroo. Mera multicoloured chashma. Woh sundar sa chota musicbox...
Phir waqt aaya meri uss tijori ki woh choti tijori kholne ka. Main wait hi nahi kar paa rahi thi yeh dekhne ke liye ki usmein hoga kya. Toh maine phatak se woh kholdi. Wahan ek chota sa box rakha tha. Bas ek hi box tha. Sundar, safed silk coatingwala box. Mujhe yaad aa gaya ismein kya maine sambhaalke rakha tha. Maine ek lambi saans li aur halke se uss box ko khola. Chamakte hue motiyon se wahan pade miley mujhe mere kuch sapne. Aaj bhi woh usi tarah chamak rahey they jaise maine unhein kai saalon pehle rakha tha. Lekin ye saade moti nahi they. Unko maine apne haath me liya. Haath mein lete hi ek ajeeb si garmaahat mehsoos ki maine. Waise hi garmaahat jo shaayad aapne apni maa ke haatho mein feel ki hogi jab bhi woh aapke sir pe haath pherti hai. Ek sukoon bhari garmahat. Ek aisi garmaahat jo aankhon ko nam karde. Main kayi ghanton tak un sapno ko haatho mein liye wohi baithi rahi.
Pata nahi kyon itne samay se maine man ki almaari kyon nahi kholi thi? Pata nahi rozzmara ki zindagi mein, paise, naam, shohrat kamaane ki daud mein main kaise bhool gayi ki mere paas sabse naayab, sabse invaluable, sabse precious cheez already se hi thi. Meri almari ki sabse chotiwali tijori mein maine meri life ki sabse invaluable poonji jamaa kar ke rakhi thi.. woh safed moti, mere sapne. Jinhe aaj bhi haath mein lete hi garmaahat mehsoos hoti hain. Yehi garmaahat, unke aaj bhi zinda hona ka saboot hain.
Din dhal gaya hain. Maine meri saaf suthri man ki almaari kuch ghanton pehle bandh kar di hain. Par iss baar maine uske darwaze par taala nahi lagaya. Maine sapno ko waapas us chote se bakse mein sambhaal ke rakh diya hain. Par unki garmaahat ab bhi mere haathon mein mehsoos hoti hain....
26th August 2014
Baithe baithe maine ek almari poori saaf karli. Saaf safai ka mood itna zabardast ban gaya tha ki bas poocho hi mat. Saara kuch jama diya tha ek din mein. Par ab bhi dil bechain. Aisa lag raha tha, bahut kachra bhara hai. Kahi saaf-safaai ki aur bhi zaroorat hain. Phir khayaal aaya ki mann ki almaari kitne hi dino se nahi kholi thi. Chalo aaj iski bhi saaf-safai ho hi jaaye.
Mann ki almaari kaafi badi si thi. Itne saalon ki, memories, experiemces vagaere sab iss ek almaari mein jo bhare pade they. Maine saaf safaai shuru ki. Ek shelf mein kaafi saari taaza experiences ki potli padi thi. Jab woh kholi, dekha kuch experiences khatte ho gaye they. Shaayad isliye jab bhi akeli baithti mujhe hardam khatta sa swaad mooh mein aata. Unki wajah se baaki jo meethe experiences pade they, woh bhi khatte hone shuru ho gaye they. Maana jab aap bazaar mein phal khareedne jaate hain, kuch phal kabhi kharaab bhi nikalte hain. Toh hum kya karte hai? Jald se jald unhein dustbin mein phenk dete hain. Unse doosrein phalon ka bigadne ka khatra rehta hain. Pata nahi kyon, man ki iss almaari mein maine yeh khatte experiences ab tak jamaa karke rakhe hain. Inhein toh pehle hi din phenk dena chahiye tha. Shaayad yeh isliye padey they kyonki maine man ki almaari kai dino se saaf nahi ki thi. Haan isi wajah se yeh hua hoga. Toh about kya, maine unn saare experiences aur unse joodi saari memories ko ikkatha kiya aur ek bade se dustbin mein jaakar phenk diya. Achaanak se man thoda halka mehsoos hone laga. Shaayad ab meri zindagi mein kuch naye expereinces ke liye jaga bani hai.
Aise karte karte maine saari almaari chaan mari. Kitni jagah aise hi kai experiences maine jamaa kar rakhe they pata nahi kyon. Kai experiences aur unki memories inti purani thi ki unpe dhool jami hui thi. Jab unpe se main dhool hataati tab pata chalta ki arey yeh to woh wala experience hai jo mujhe ab shaayad yaad bhi nahi hain.
Phir waqt aaya, man ki almaari ki tijori kholne ka. Bahut darr lag raha tha. Pata nahi kya kya bharaa hoga yahan. Pata nahi kya kya maine barson se sambhaal ke rakhaa hain yahaan. Aur jab yeh sab baahar niklega, kya main issey sambhaal paaongi? Khair aaj saaf safaai ka din hain, toh tijori bhi saaf toh karni hi padegi. Toh kya tha, bas maine ishwar ka naam liye aur dhire se darte hue tijori khol di. Kaafi dhool jami thi tijori mein. Ab mujhe yaad bhi nahi tha kya rakha tha issmein sambhaalkar. Itni dhool thi ki maine ek geela kapda liya aur har ek cheez jo rakhi thi ussey ghis ghis kar saaf karna chalu kiya. Jaise hi pehli cheez par se dhool ki chaddar hati, maine dekha woh ek choti si nanhi si gudiya thi. Jo bilkul meri tarah hi dikti thi. Arey haan, phir yaad aaya ki yeh gudiya maine apne haathon se banaai thi. Issey maine bahut hi sundar aur hamesha hasti rahe waise banaaya thi. Aur haan yeh gudiya ki khaasiyat yeh thi ki yeh hamesha gungunaati rehti thi. Aise kar karke kaafi saare khilone nikle meri tijori se. Ek hawaaijahaaz, jo mujhe door sair karne ki yaad dilaata tha. Mere ghoongroo. Mera multicoloured chashma. Woh sundar sa chota musicbox...
Phir waqt aaya meri uss tijori ki woh choti tijori kholne ka. Main wait hi nahi kar paa rahi thi yeh dekhne ke liye ki usmein hoga kya. Toh maine phatak se woh kholdi. Wahan ek chota sa box rakha tha. Bas ek hi box tha. Sundar, safed silk coatingwala box. Mujhe yaad aa gaya ismein kya maine sambhaalke rakha tha. Maine ek lambi saans li aur halke se uss box ko khola. Chamakte hue motiyon se wahan pade miley mujhe mere kuch sapne. Aaj bhi woh usi tarah chamak rahey they jaise maine unhein kai saalon pehle rakha tha. Lekin ye saade moti nahi they. Unko maine apne haath me liya. Haath mein lete hi ek ajeeb si garmaahat mehsoos ki maine. Waise hi garmaahat jo shaayad aapne apni maa ke haatho mein feel ki hogi jab bhi woh aapke sir pe haath pherti hai. Ek sukoon bhari garmahat. Ek aisi garmaahat jo aankhon ko nam karde. Main kayi ghanton tak un sapno ko haatho mein liye wohi baithi rahi.
Pata nahi kyon itne samay se maine man ki almaari kyon nahi kholi thi? Pata nahi rozzmara ki zindagi mein, paise, naam, shohrat kamaane ki daud mein main kaise bhool gayi ki mere paas sabse naayab, sabse invaluable, sabse precious cheez already se hi thi. Meri almari ki sabse chotiwali tijori mein maine meri life ki sabse invaluable poonji jamaa kar ke rakhi thi.. woh safed moti, mere sapne. Jinhe aaj bhi haath mein lete hi garmaahat mehsoos hoti hain. Yehi garmaahat, unke aaj bhi zinda hona ka saboot hain.
Din dhal gaya hain. Maine meri saaf suthri man ki almaari kuch ghanton pehle bandh kar di hain. Par iss baar maine uske darwaze par taala nahi lagaya. Maine sapno ko waapas us chote se bakse mein sambhaal ke rakh diya hain. Par unki garmaahat ab bhi mere haathon mein mehsoos hoti hain....
26th August 2014
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